If you were to ask those close to me (and I mean REALLY close to me) to use 5 phrases and/or words to best describe me, some of these things might include: "sickeningly cheery"," gullible", "laughs at everything", "drinks her body weight in Pepsi and overpriced coffee", "will spend $15 on a bad martini", "a total music nut", and "has a feverish love for kitties and pitbulls". But no matter what combination of words those close to me would come up with, everyone's list would no doubt include "Obsessed beyond reason with Duran Duran".
It's the day before my 33rd birthday, and as a gift to myself I have decided to write a blog piece in which I tell the tale of my life as a Duranie (Duranie: noun; the colloquial term for a highly obsessed fanboy/girl of the British pop/rock group Duran Duran that originated in the 1980's and are still going to this very day). I have been meaning to do this for some time, and I thought what better time to do it but on the cusp of my birthday. I believe my story as a Duranie is a unique one, and one I very much feel ready to tell. It is a story that encompasses my whole life, not just a part of it. I have been alive as long as Duran Duran have been making albums and their influence on key moments of my life have become essential to who I am today. My love for this band and the music they have created together fills my heart with deep satisfaction and affection and brings joy to my everyday existence, even in adulthood. If anything, more so in adulthood. Thanks to social media, I am fully aware that I am not the only grown-ass woman that feels this way. There is an enormous legion of us worldwide and there is a sisterly kinship we feel because of our love for this band. We've each got a fire and a passion that has never let up, and although many of us are separated by miles and oceans, it's Duran Duran that figuratively brings us all together.
So without further ado, here is my story:
I was born on April 7th, 1981 and was raised in a small mining town in Labrador, Canada. The winters were frigid and merciless, and the summers were short. I have two older sisters, the oldest being my sister Joanne who was 11 at the time of my birth. She was a quiet, bespectacled, studious girl who developed a love of the pop music of the day and by the time she was 13, had a pretty solid record collection. Her record collection included all the early Duran Duran albums.
She is what I would refer to as a "1st Generation Duranie" because she bought all the records that were out at the time, bought all the teen mags that they were featured in (Bop, Tiger Beat, etc), all her friends liked them, and she was even a member of the International Duran Duran Club. She played those early Duran records a lot, so much so, that my earliest childhood memory is hearing the 1981 Duran Duran single Girls On Film on vinyl. Yes. That is my first childhood memory. Not a cartoon, not a tender moment with my mother, not a toy, but hearing the cracks and pops of Duran Duran's 3rd single blaring through my sister's record player in the rec room that was in the basement of our family home.
My Duran-tinged childhood memories don't stop there. They continue on with hearing and learning the words and melodies of each song on all the Duran Duran albums my sister had, staring at the cover of the Rio album trying to figure out who this painted smiling woman with the black hair and magenta dress was, studying the cover of the Seven And The Ragged Tiger album asking my sister over and over again "Why do they have a pet tiger on a leash? Why can't I have a tiger as a pet?", singing and dancing to my personal favorite songs "Planet Earth", "Rio", "Save A Prayer", "New Moon On Monday", "Union Of The Snake", and "Wild Boys", and sitting in my sister's basement bedroom with the slime green shag carpeting examining her walls adorned with posters of Simon LeBon (singer), John Taylor (bassist), Andy Taylor (guitarist - at the time), Roger Taylor (drummer) and Nick Rhodes (keyboardist), both individually photographed as well as collectively.
However, my sister Joannes's Duran fandom did not last and was pretty much extinct by 1986 as she was completing her last year of high school. In 1987, she was off to bigger and better things as she took off for college in another province. My second eldest sister Lisa was also moved out to another province by 1991 and from then on, it was just my parents and I.
As the years trickled on, the influence that Duran Duran had over my early childhood moved to a far back burner, but not that far back. We got a family cable box converter during the summer of 1988 that gave us the 24-hour Canadian music video channel Much Music (Canada's answer to MTV) and I became absorbed by it instantly. Although at the time I was developing some of my own tastes for the pop of the time (New Kids On The Block, Tiffany, Madonna, etc) I also watched Duran Duran evolve over the years, never forgetting that they were my sister's favorite band as a teen and that I remembered an awful lot about them. I never forgot the names of their big hits, or the names of their early albums, or the names of the band members and whom did what in the group. I also always remembered that they were from England.
In 1993 I was 12 years old. I remember quite a lot of the music that was being played on the radio at the time, and there was a song during the summer of '93 that seemed as if it was played every hour on the hour. It had this terrific jazzy funk beat and the song was super mellow. I remember thinking "Wow....this is such a terrific song!" There was a female voice that would sing a line that went "Can't ever keep from falling apart...at the seams..." and I thought it was infectious, even at 12. I thought it was a cool new band, and I was quickly corrected by a radio dj who promptly announced that it was the latest single by Duran Duran called Come Undone. I remember thinking "That is the band Joanne loved! I can't believe they sound so cool!' But at the time, it was still a passing, fleeting thought.
Another moment I remember in 1993 was watching the Much Music Top 30 Countdown on a Friday afternoon and seeing the brand new entries kick off the chart. I have a vivid memory of when Duran Duran's video for their single Too Much Information entered the chart.
Another year and some passed on, and 1995 began. I was in Grade 8 (as we say here in Canada, Americans would say 8th Grade and I believe Brits would say Year 8), and I was having a great year at school. I had a nice little group of friends and I had developed my first crush on a nice boy named Jerry who was a grade ahead of me. I had become quite the music lover myself and already had a pretty impressive collection of music. I was the kid called on by my classmates who wanted mixed tapes made for them of stuff they didn't have or had never heard before. It was a massive hobby for me at that time.
It was the week of my 14th birthday and I had finished my week at school. On April 4th I had a day off and decided to spend much of it watching tv. I flipped on Much Music at the time and by the looks of it, there was an all-day special being aired. I quickly realized that it was in fact a Duran Duran special. It was called "Duran Duran:15 Years In 3 Hours" and I was to learn that it was to kick off the release of their latest cd, a covers album called Thank You. I decided to watch a little of it. Besides, there was nothing else on at that time. The special consisted of 3 members of the group being driven around to various locations within Toronto that commemorated certain milestones in their 15-year career, along with music videos of theirs being played in a chronological order.
The videos played one by one, and I found myself drowning in a sea of nostalgia. "I remember this song!! And this one!". I decided to record each video I saw. Then I got this bizarre urge to dig out my sister's old Duran Duran LPs and fawn over them to keep this blissful blast from my past going. "My sister loved these guys so much! Their music is still great!" my 14-year old self thought to herself.
Over the coming days, I found myself rewinding all the videos and re-watching them over and over again. Then I found myself singing the songs. I think my mom thought I was crazy, but I was having fun sorta digging this band that my sister was so into when she was my age. A few weeks later I was at the mall checking out cds, and I saw the new Duran Duran album Thank You, with its black and white cover with various photos of the artists that Duran Duran paid tribute to. "Hmmmm....would it be crazy if I picked this up? Would it?" so I did.
I was instantly hooked. Instantly. I loved it right away. Although they were cover songs, I loved the way this band sounded and I loved the way Simon LeBon sounded as he sang. I played the Thank You record non-stop for months, and I found myself craving more Duran Duran music. It was like a drug. Over the summer and fall of 1995, I snatched up as many Duran Duran cds as I could grab. The next cd I got was their 1981 debut, followed by 1993's The Wedding Album (the record that had Come Undone on it), then 1982's Rio, then 1984's Arena. Just before school began, I got 1986's Notorious and 1989's Decade, their first official greatest hits album. For Christmas that year, I got 1983's Seven And The Ragged Tiger, then 1988's Big Thing on cassette. It was very safe to say that by 1995's year end....it was official. I was a Duranie. I had it bad. Real bad, and way worse than my sister ever had it. I was love sick for this band.
It was a peculiar position to find myself in, a newly obsessed Duran Duran fangirl in 1995 that lived in an isolated northern Canada town. It felt a little lonely. All my "friends" at the time began to distance themselves from me slightly because they couldn't understand why I started liking this "old" band that weren't cool to them at all. None of my peers liked anything that wasn't from the last 6 months, let alone something that was as old as they were. I couldn't explain it. This music was brilliant to me. It sounded fresh to my ears and it moved me in a way no other band's music ever did. And as time in school went on, it would turn out that Duran Duran would become more important to me than ever.
I don't talk a lot about this part of my life, and certain members of my family (namely my last remaining living parent) would probably question why I was saying this, or outwardly deny what I am about to say, but it is the very raw truth. When this was occurring in my school and peer life at the time, I didn't have a name for it, but it seems now that it has been let go out in the open and is a much more discussed topic, so therefore I am no longer afraid to talk about it, so here it is:
I was a victim of bullying. Although there were speckled moments of my adolescence in which I did have some friends, there were far larger chunks of time in which I had nobody. More often than not, I was picked on, taunted, harassed, and completely ignored. I don't know all the reasons, but I can guess a few. I had acne for a good many years, plus when kids my age began underage drinking and partying, I completely turned my back on it and did not partake in it at all. I rarely spoke up in class and anytime I did, I was severely made fun of. I dreaded group activities because kids were so unbearably hateful and condescending towards me. There were even a couple of girls who for years on end would call my house and make crank phone calls, not just once, but several times for several years. I developed a crippling and debilitating anxiety before going to school each morning during certain years, and I would cry my eyes out, begging not to go. There were several mornings that I was so terrified to go to school that I would leave the house, but then go hide in the lobby of an apartment building for hours. All because I could not bear to face how I was treated. The only person in my life who sympathized with me was my mother. She was the only one who cared and listened. No one else understood. My dad just thought I was being a big baby and told me to grow up....not understanding that if no one teaches you how to stand up for yourself and if you have no one to back you up, its so very hard.
During these times, if I didn't have music to turn to for salvation, my thoughts would have probably turned very dark. But as it stands, when I came home from a horrendous day at school, I could always head to my bedroom, put on Duran Duran and feel the anxiety and sadness evaporate away with the melodies. My mother always supported my obsession for them because she saw the joy they brought to me. She never ever once told me to shut my music off or grow out of it. It was nothing but pure encouragement from her. She saw that it was a positive thing to have this band in my life. They wrote positive, artistic, uplifting music with no cursing, and it wasn't noise pollution as she thought metal and rap to be. I would find out very soon that not only was it Duran Duran's music that would bring me joy, but I wouldn't feel so all alone in my fandom while being stuck in my tiny frozen hometown.
I discovered the internet for the first time at my local library during November of 1996. With that discovery, I found Duran Duran fans just like myself all over the place seeking friendships with other fans to share their passion with. I made penpals with several girls and we wrote letters to each other and began exchanging memorabilia through the mail. They sent me birthday cards and Xmas gifts, and I them. It was something I became so passionate about and would bring me so much elation during my high school years. I made friends with fellow Canadians, a few Americans, and even ones in Germany, Japan and Indonesia. A few of these penpals would become some of the dearest friends I would ever have in life. In fact, I became such good friends with one of them that during the summer of 1998, her mother bought me a plane ticket and flew me down to Orlando, Florida to spend two weeks with her! I made another terrific friend in Nova Scotia and when I moved away from home to Halifax, it was she who picked me up from the airport as a homesick emotional wreck. She took me to her home and made me tea and hugged me and told me to be brave, that I would make it on my own. She was right. I made another who lived in Missouri and we would talk on the phone for hours and hours and when my mother died, her and her family would call me every single day for weeks to talk to me and make sure I was ok. I would never have ever crossed paths with these girls had it not been for our mutual love of Duran Duran.
I had one girl whom I would call a best friend during a two year period in high school, and although she was not obsessed with Duran Duran, she was the one person in my hometown among my peers who was supportive of my love, as she had her own equally feverish obsession. Her obsession was with the Britpop band Oasis, and we shared our obsessions in tandem. It was wonderful. There was a great time in 1997 in which both Oasis and Duran Duran's latest albums were to be released on October 14th, and they both were going to be performing on late night television, Oasis on Letterman and Duran Duran on Leno. We both sat on the phone screaming into our respective receivers expressing our excitement for ourselves and each other. When a Duran Duran video would come on tv, she would call me. When an Oasis video would come on tv, I would call her. We egged on each other's love for our bands and it was a wonderful friendship. But alas, she then got a boyfriend who pushed her into underage drinking and she wiped her mind of me, and sadly, Oasis too.
I often wondered would this ever happen to me? Would I let another human being rob me of my passion for something? I certainly hoped not.
As time went on, as boyfriends came and went, I would soon learn that if you're lucky, you will hit the mother load in terms of someone who will accept you so wholeheartedly, urge you not to change any of the core aspects that make you who you are, and love you to smithereens. I found this in Darrell, the guy who would steal my heart. He has accepted every single musical obsession I have ever had, some would say even encourages them, just as my mother did.
We got married in February of 2005 and in April, he surprised me with a trip to Toronto to see the newly reformed original line-up of Duran Duran live in concert at the Air Canada Center. The concert was April 5th, and we arrived on April 4th. When we got there, I saw that Duran Duran were going to be at Much Music for a Live @ Much special and live interview.......and that our hotel was a mere few blocks away from Much Music!!! Right away, Darrell says "Let's go!!! Let's wait outside so you can see if you can catch a glimpse of them!" Well....not only did I catch a glimpse, but I found a prime spot right up against the barricade outside!!! During that live special, the members of the band came outside several times to chat and sign memorabilia, and for the first time in my life, I was seeing my idols in the flesh. It was magical. I had a rare LP with me that I got signed by ALL the members, I got lots of pictures, and as I stood there in awe of these men, I realized that April 4th was exactly 10 years to the day that I re-discovered Duran Duran for myself when I was 14 thanks to a Much Music special. It was a real commemorative day. I cried my eyes out that night.
As I sit here typing these last few words, I am aware of my surroundings. I am seated in the living room of the house I own with my husband. My pitbull is snoring next to me. Candles are lit. I've got 5 Duran Duran cds on shuffle. It is now my birthday, and I am 33 years old. I have a good job, great friends, and I am no longer a victim of anything. I am now a loud mouth who stands up for what she believes in. I am still obsessed by music, and I am still a Duranie. I am impatiently waiting for them to release their 14th album, as many of us fans are! I'm not the biggest Duranie of them all in many aspects, as I have only seen them live 2 times, and there are items that are missing from my collection that I would need to complete it. But I have lots, and it's all precious to me. I have every studio album on cd, and many on vinyl, including many singles and rarities. I have a huge scrapbook filled with pictures and clippings. I have dvds and hours of footage taped on VHS cassettes that I will someday convert to DVD for preservation. I'm proud of the collection I have, and I can also stand toe to toe with any fellow fan in terms of Duran trivia. In fact, I wrote a 3500 word research paper on Duran Duran in my second last year of high school (I unfortunately misplaced the copy I kept of it though!! GRRR).
Duran Duran set out to make flashy, fashionable, danceable pop records. They didn't set out to change the world. They didn't even initially set out to be a band that girls liked! But it was out of their control. It's what happened, and it's what pushed them to global stardom. I am one of those girls. I took the torch that my sister lit and grabbed it before she let it burn out. With the torch in my hand now, it burns brighter and with more fury than ever. I owe all I am to this band. Duran Duran showed me the world. They coaxed me out of my shell. They made me the happiest I ever could have been. They will be a part of who I am now, and forever.
Vanessa Knox
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Duranie 4 Lyfe
My Duran Duran Stats:
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Favorite album: Big Thing (1988)
Favorite singles: Violence of Summer (1990) New Moon On Monday (1983) White Lines (1995)
Favorite album tracks: Before The Rain (2011) Palomino (1988) The Chauffer (1982)
Favorite B-side: Late Bar (1981)
Favorite remix: Wild Boys - extended mix (1984)
Favorite song to hear live: Sunrise (2005)
Favorite member: John Taylor
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